2001: A Lost World Odyssey
by scifiguy95330
Summary: A humerous action about what would happen if TLW met Survivor


"2001: A Lost World Odyssey" 

Authors note : This is strictly a work of fiction. This story neither in whole or in part is to be construed as fact. Do not take anything you are about to read seriously.

Chapter One: If Two Paths Crossed in Australia

Okay, Survivor Two is being filmed in Australia, and TLW films in Australia. So imagine this.

It's eight o clock at night, sixteen dreary eyed people from the year two thousand one are sitting on logs around a fire, screaming and hollering at each other. They have been going like this all day long. Either complaining about the weather or how the bugs keep biting them. Except for a few hours when a scary looking "large man" took of all his clothes, and everybody scattered into the jungle and disappeared for a few hours. But, now they have regrouped , and the insane man has been subdued. They are now waiting for a man named Jeff to tell them what their future holds.(Hah, that's the twenty first century for ya) When all of a sudden from behind a group of trees emerged a beautiful blond haired woman with quite a shapely body wearing nothing but a small loincloth and top, and a worn out pair of makeshift boots. She walked over to the fire and sat down for a minute warming her hands. The dumbfounded "survivors" could say nothing. Then without saying a word to the "survivors" she got up and ran off. Ten seconds later a small group of raptors teeth bared and a ferocious look in their eyes came running through , one of them turned on an orange haired "freak" screaming "mommy" and cowering behind a man with a camera on his shoulder. One of the "survivors" tried to divert the raptors attention by waving a Tiki-Torch at it , but the measly flame did nothing. A young white man seamed to step out of nowhere and fired a classic custom made ( yet beat up) pistol at the bitter little raptor, it fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The young man ran over to the raptor carefully inspecting it to make sure it was dead, after convincing himself that it was he then turned to the group and said " my name is Ned Malone, is everyone alright?" There was a general matter of cussing, nodding, and praying, but, a bewitching redhead finally approached him and said, "everyone seems to be okay, except for that guy, " she pointed to the redheaded "gentleman." Ned walked over to him and confirmed that he too, was dead. "I've uh..........I've got to be going " Ned said, "was there a woman that came through here before me?" Again the redhead was the only one to speak to him, "yes " she said, "she ran off that way" she pointed into the jungle. "Alright" Ned said, "be careful" the redhead nodded, and Ned took off in the direction she had pointed. The awestruck "survivors" made no effort to follow him.

Chapter Two: He-man and She-ra of the 1920's

Eight thirty that same night a man wearing a rather old blue shirt and a brown vest, donning a hat that looked like it came strait out of a classic Humphrey Bogart film, and carrying a rifle on his shoulder wandered into a camp of building and tents. Not far behind him is a young brunette wearing a pistol, who keeps asking the man "do you think this village has any precious stones they're willing to "part" with ?" "Dam it Roxton, answer me!" the woman yelled. "Shut up and get down, we have no idea what kind of savages occupy this village," Roxton said quietly. "Let's have a look inside one of those structures," Roxton said, pointing at the building closest to them, "there doesn't seem to be anyone guarding them." They crept upon the building and peered inside a window. They saw several large objects stacked against one wall inside the building, "what the hell do you think those are?", Roxton said pointing out several objects. "What makes you think I know?" the woman asked. "Well Marguerite, you are supposed to be a woman of the world," Roxton smirked, "aren't you?" Marguerite had an expression on her face like "I'd like to kill you but, I'd hate to get my clothes dirty" finally she said "I don't know, it looks like some sort of mangled camera technology " "I don't think that it's anything important" Roxton said, "more Challengers line of business, let's have a look inside some of those tents." Roxton and Marguerite walked over to the tent nearest them and lifted the flap, they found a young couple in a somewhat awkward situation , they yelled , "get the hell out of here", Roxton tipped his hat, laughed, and obliged their wishes . "Well Roxton did you get your eyeful?" Marguerite asked "yes Marguerite, I did but, the real question is" Roxton said turning to face her, "did you?" Marguerite did her best to inflict pain upon his shoulder with her fist but, she stopped herself before she lost control of herself. "Come along Marguerite", Roxton said "let's check a few more." The next one they checked was unoccupied, so they decided to have a closer look inside.

Chapter Three: The Simple Pleasures

Meanwhile back at a monstrous house built in a tree that the explorers so affectionately call "The Tree house " , a man named Challenger has been working on a personal idea of his. He thinks he might be able to get back to an old hobby of his , a classic game called "croquette." He has been making mallets and balls from the seemingly endless supply of wood at his disposal in hopes that he might be able to convince the others to try it. And if not he can always use the mallets for a little sport he likes to call "ape man bashing." "Where can they be" he muttered to himself.

Chapter Four: Deep in the Heart...................

At a leafy green ravine filled with vines, insects, and thick foliage, the man named Ned has finally caught up to the woman. "Veronica, slow down a minute" Ned said, stopping to grasp air in his burning lungs, "I think the raptors turned on a small animal about a mile back." "Ned, you of all people should know never to underestimate the integrity of a raptor" Veronica said, slowing down. "Veronica," Ned said avoiding her comment "do you know who those people back there were?" "No", Veronica said, "after all my years of exploring this godforsaken plateau , I've never met that tribe." "Did you notice how they were dressed?" Ned said chuckling. "Ned, don't move," "what" Ned said, "don't move" Veronica repeated. She pulled a ridged knife from her boot and threw it strait at Ned, or so it seemed. After she threw it Ned turned to find a deadly snake wrapped around a branch inches from his skull, and there was Veronica's knife strait through its head. "Uh.............thanks " Ned said, pulling her knife from the snake and handing it to her . "Your welcome", she said. Ned had stopped all action for a moment, and was staring at her with a look of admiration. "What is it about women and deadly weapons that seems to grab men's attention ?" Veronica said catching him staring at her. "I don't know" Ned said, "maybe it's just you." "Snap out of it Ned" Veronica said, "we need to find Roxton and Marguerite." "Of course" Ned said reluctantly, and they headed back the way they came.

Chapter Five: The Odd Couple

In the meantime Roxton and Marguerite had been been searching through the tent, and finding a lot of odd objects. "What do you suppose this does?" Marguerite asked, holding a thin black box with cords running out of it. "According to this writing, it is something called a "Playstation Two" Marguerite said. "Put that down" Roxton commanded, "it might be a weapon!" Marguerite threw the box down and a small square black box sitting on the ground flickered on and displayed two creatures battling . Marguerite spun around ready to fire her pistol, Roxton tried to stop her, but it was to late and she fired. "Marguerite, you fool" Roxton bellowed, "you just announced to the whole tribe where we are." "Well sorrrry" Marguerite said, "I thought someone, or something was behind us, just remind me next time we're in trouble NOT to save your ass!" "I'll do just that" Roxton replied. Two men and a young boy came running at the sound of the shot, "who are you, and what on earth are you doing?" one of the men asked. "You S.O.B. " the boy said, "you screwed up my game, and I've been working on level ten for two weeks." "Get them" the other man said. Roxton swung up his rifle, "just stay back and no one gets hurt" he said, but the stubborn men kept coming forward, Roxton fired at them, but the only sound heard was of the hammer smacking the base, "bloody hell, I'm out of ammunition" Roxton yelled. He threw the rifle down and raised his fists. He began to brawl with the two older men while the boy stood back. "Uh...............Marguerite, little help?" Roxton said trying to keep up with the men. "Why Lord John Roxton, I thought I wasn't supposed to save your ass anymore" Marguerite said amidst the chaos. "Dam it Marguerite!" Roxton said , "don't be petty." "Oh shut up" she said, aiming her pistol at one of the men "Alright" she yelled, "that's enough, his may not have been loaded but, I can guaranty you, mine is , let him go." The men looked up at her and decided not to tempt their luck again, and backed away. "Lady take it easy" one of the men said, "don't do anything you'll regret." "Likewise" Marguerite responded. "Roxton," Marguerite yelled, "let's go!" "My sentiments exactly" Roxton replied. Keeping their eyes on the trio they backed out of tent. "Let's head back to the tree house, NOW!" Marguerite said, "I've got a bad feeling about this place." "What do you mean?" Roxton questioned. "I can't explain it now Roxton" Marguerite said, "let's just go!"

Chapter Six: Reunion 

"Which way do you think they went?" Ned asked Veronica. "I don't know" Veronica said, "wait a minute , Ned don't move", "not this again" , Ned said, "what's behind me this time?" "Nothing" Veronica replied, "I thought I heard something." "Who's there?" Ned hollered. "I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count" Roxton's voice hollered back. "Where have you two been ?" Ned asked as Roxton and Marguerite emerged from the underbrush. "The minute I figure it out, you'll be the first to know" Roxton said slapping Ned on the back and grinning.

Chapter Seven" And it Was Just Getting Normal...........

"Well, it certainly seems that you four had an interesting day to say the least," Challenger said after listening to their story's for the last hour. "Well surely you did something today" Ned said. "Oh well, I didn't do all that much" Challenger said, "I just entertained myself with these", he held up the mallets and balls. "What the devil are those for?" Roxton inquired. "Ah, a fine new weapon" Veronica said, "No, no," Challenger said chuckling, they're for a game called "croquette", you hit the balls in an orderly fashion with the mallets, I'll tell you more if your interested." "Well Malone" Roxton said casually "I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I want to play a game that involves hitting balls with mallets," "Well, I'm game if you are" Ned replied. "Very well then" Roxton said, "Challenger O' boy , tell me more!" Later that night after a stirring episode of croquette Roxton observed Marguerite standing alone in dark corner of the house with a hazy look in her eyes. "Is something wrong Marguerite?" Roxton said approaching her. "What do you mean?" Marguerite asked him as he came closer. "Oh come now Marguerite, don't give me the old run around" Roxton said, "are you going to tell me what spooked you back there at that village?" "Roxton" she finally said softly "there was something back there that I saw you didn't , it was a newspaper." "Well that certainly is odd" Roxton said, "but, we have found other artifacts of civillization here before." "You don't understand Roxton" she said, "it was dated January, sixteenth" "So" Roxton interveined , "no Roxton" she said "January sixteenth of...................two thousand one!"

Epilogue: To be continued.


End file.
